Relationship Advice : The Second Time Around

My Surprise Wedding August 4 2007 with My Son Walking Me Down The Aisle

With this Blog Post today I wanted to share something on a personal note. I usually write in a general context regarding the questions from my viewers & talk show subscribers & leave “my life” out of the equation.  One of the reasons I started my talk show was due to the long “learning curve” I took to “get it right” in the single’s market. I also slowly realized what signals I was sending out as well.  I always joked that my dates were so varied it was like a Benetton Commercial with all the colors of the world uniting!  But I still often found the initial chemistry lacking or intensely dramatic, so it seldom worked out.  As I matured & changed my priorities, I was surprised at how wonderful & stress free life could be in a drama free relationship! Who knew???

My blogs are written to try to help others with life’s trials & tribulations (or share others stories) not to talk about my personal happenings on a regular basis…but saying that, I wanted to share this with you all because of how grateful I am to have been given this amazing “gift of love” in the second part of my life.

August 4th is my Birthday & my 5th Year Wedding Anniversary which I will be celebrating in style as I do every year.  I use the word celebrate in the highest regard because I am so fortunate to have met such an incredible man that brings so much joy into my life ~ everyday with him is worth celebrating. I am so blessed to have met him & thank my “Angels” every day for bringing him to me.  I still remember the faces of 130 guests & family when my birthday changed into a wedding 2 hours after everyone arrived. What an incredible memory ~ I can still hear the screams.

Who is this man & what is so special about him?

  • He embraces me and everything I do without judgment
  • He loves my son & accepted him from day one
  • He loves my strength & encourages me to be even more of who I am
  • He puts me first even when it comes to his career
  • He stands up for me
  • He listens
  • He is a “NICE” guy (Why do so many women want the Christian Grey “50 Shades of Grey” Bad boy??)
  • He is not afraid to express his feelings or communicate about everything
  • He is a strong man without being macho or egotistical
  • He is confident & comfortable in his own skin

The lesson I learned when I met my husband was a big one.  I always felt there had to be instant sexual chemistry when I dated someone. I never believed I could fall in love with someone who I initially only categorized in the “friendship mode” but I learned how wrong I could be in that respect. I never spent much time trying to change a guy ~ if the heart or loin pangs weren’t there right away I didn’t waste time trying to find them. He was a mountain man & I was a city girl how could we ever connect? Ice camping & hanging off a rock suspended by ropes & other Fear Factor scenarios, just wasn’t my idea of a fun relationship back then!

As a friend of my brother’s for many years, I had heard much about Bruce (my husband) but never met him until one day when he knocked on my front door. He was looking for my brother, who was staying with me temporarily. I used to joke with my girlfriends about getting out & meeting guys because they weren’t going to come & knock on your front door! (Unless you wanted the Fed Ex guy!)

Upon our initial meeting, we became friends.  Bruce was dealing with his own divorce from his first marriage and was very green in the single’s arena. He never showed it & always seemed confident & well composed! He was a very curious man & never afraid to ask questions & offer topic suggestions for my Podcast Radio Show at the time.  (I think he wanted to know the answers himself.)

I helped him shop for clothing (to help attract the ladies) while he asked me questions that could help him try to understand the complicated single female he had not been exposed to for so long as a married man. We also shared stories of “dates gone bad,” mostly on my side lol.  This continued  for about 4 months. It was an unconditional friendship that blossomed into something more than I ever would have fathomed. I was still stuck in my “chemistry 1st” law of attraction phase & didn’t see the writing on the wall. He literally had to etch it into my attention by throwing me over his shoulder at my birthday party 6 years ago & carrying me down the stairs at the restaurant. (Talk about caveman style ~ I have always said to women that men still want to bring home the buffalo regardless of how times have changed, that definitely proved my point!)

I literally “woke up” that night & have never looked back!  I am so happy to have met a man that was patient and thought I was worth the wait (& challenge) of having a future with me.  He took his time & played the best game of poker I have ever seen.  He told me he knew exactly what he was doing.  He surprised me at 35,000 ft and proposed to me in the Business Class Galley with the crew all around me.  The ground staff & crew had to help sneak him on the airplane on my return trip home from Honolulu. Can you believe he flew there & back in one day to ask me to marry him? I finally said yes as the shock wore off when he popped out of nowhere on one of my last trips as a flight attendant. I still can’t believe he got by my detective antennas without me seeing him until after takeoff.

Today everything is wonderful & keeps getting better & better ~ if there is such a thing.  Bruce still rock climbs occasionally but has changed his ice camping to using airline passes for travel. (“Marry me, fly for free” lol.)  We do many things together & are quite a bit more alike than I originally thought. We learned how to compromise which has made our relationship grow more each year.  There is never a dull moment because we are always trying & learning new things.

The lesson to be learned for both sexes is not to be too judgmental when dating someone. Look beyond your checklist and see who the “real” person is before you. We all have good qualities every one of us, so take your time to see the good in people before your turf them off your iphone contact list.

If you have a great romantic story I would love to hear from you. There are some great connections made out there & we need to keep the positive alive to help people understand & believe they can have a loving relationship regardless of each passing birthday.

You are never too old to find love.

Susan McCord @ http://www.youtube.com/twobeavers

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